Posts from — August 2009

The word “No” must be one of the most used words in the world.  It crosses nations and languages like my dog’s smelly farts cross a room.  (sorry, he just cut one and it was an accessible analogy ).  It’s a word I hear daily, and I’m always amazed at how freely we toss it around.  Sometimes NO is the right answer. And it protects us from ourselves.

I must say that  I’m not the best at using the word No.  I often say Yes (although my husband would challenge that), but I don’t like to turn people away.  As a result, I get overcommitted and frustrated which leads to pissed off and irritable.  And that’s a short step away from insanity, where I lose it and scream bloody murder.  SO what’s the big deal?  It’s not a bad word.  As my cousin would say to me ” What’s Your Problem Girrrrl?”  (She has NO problem with NO…lol…)

I’m not saying I’m a doormat either.  But I do use it sparingly, only when I know I really can’t commit.  Recently when after working with a client, we decided to turn them away.  I just couldn’t do it, it was too much vampire energy for me in that relationship.  I’d be exhausted after a phone call, running in circles and circles.  That felt freeing, it was like a literal cord was cut in the universe.  Released from the mothership. >Snip.>

My son uses it like a brick wall.  No, Nope, Never, Not.  I often think that he uses it too much because he shuts down opportunities as quckly as turning a faucet off.  Simple, quick, but sometimes painful.

My husband has no problem with the word either. There must be a happy medium, but I guess it’s all in the way we manage ourselves.  It’s different for everyone.

Maybe it’s just the fact that I don’t like to disappoint people.  Or perhaps its because I really WANT to be helpful and believe at that moment, I can do it.

But one of my favorite coaches, Cheryl Richardson, wrote a newsletter article one week about saying No as a daily practice.  I must say I did enjoy cutting the cord in my example above.  It’s easier when it’s not kids or family, but still, it has its place.

Being nice is good, but being honest is better.  So let’s hear it for the word NO.

Hurray!!  N N N N N N NO!

I read an article this morning from Andrea Conway, a law of attraction coach who shares a great perspective on LOA and how we can bring it into our lives, business, etc.  So this morning in her e-newsletter, she talks about how we can bring ourselves in better vibrational alignment with what we really want.  In her article, she suggested that like ordering a dessert, why would we order up a dessert from the menu of the universe and have it be something we don’t like?  She asks  “would you order strawberry rhubarb pie if you didn’t like it?”  Well, no..

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I love these kind of analogies because they make sense.  Our words, thoughts and desires are essentially placing vibrational orders to the universe, but then when the waitress comes, we want to send it back our order.  I’ve been there.  Andrea offers these thoughts, to help take ourselves off the hook.  She suggests we don’t really know we are doing it, it’s an unconscious thing:

It’s not always easy to accept that we’re vibrational matches to what we clearly do not want: a shortage of money, an illness, a difficult relationship. But denying our vibrational resonance to the situation only binds us to it more strongly.

If you can accept that whatever is in your life right now is a vibrational match to you, you’ve made a huge first step in using the circumstances you don’t like as springboards to something better.

So, I’m  taking a dose of this medicine right now in light of my new situation.  I will say that up to the point of my recent food allergy assessment, I had been ordering up (thinking, desiring) a way for me to make better food choices and help align my body with what it needs.  I also wanted to change my belief that weight loss is hard, and switch it around to weight loss is easy.  You know, challenging those limiting beliefs we hold, and cutting the polarization cord so I don’t keep bringing back situations I don’t want.

Andrea does offer some suggestions around acceptance which is the key to it all:

Acceptance is a way of pausing, clearing the slate, and starting afresh:

OK, universe, I accept that right now I am a vibrational match to these stale oatmeal cookies. But I declare that what I truly prefer to eat is the key lime pie.

The simple act of accepting what has happened and choosing again sets you on a new vibrational course.

Acceptance is a small step — so small that many people would dismiss it as too insignificant to matter. Yet, it is the entire key to shedding the resistance that binds you.

I guess I would have liked to “send back my order” of food allergies.  But as I’m accepting it all, I am noticing that there is no resistance, and weight loss is easier.  It’s just coming off, and I’m not thinking about it much.  I’m also not crazy hungry like I would be if I were “dieting” and thinking I could be having other things but I’m not.  The reality is, this is a new way of life.  It just is.  And by not fighting it, I’m gravitating toward re-discovering foods I have ignored or never had.

I like that part of it.  And I do feel better.  So, if I can realign myself there, where can I go next??   Seems like the field is wide open.

Have you experienced this before?

Photo Credit: www.kingshawaiian.com

I’ve always had allergies.  It affected my childhood to some degree, and they still bother me to this day.  But I never thought I was allergic to food.  I had taken allergy tests using the skin prick method years before, but food did not come up as a problem.  So, fast forward to a couple weeks ago and where I met with a naturopathic doctor who wanted to take a different kind of blood test to look at food allergies again.

“Me?” I thought?  I don’t think so. “No, not food allergies.” I said to the doctor  “Everything else allergies but not food.  I love food.  Food loves me.  I don’t have any digestive problems.  But I do have these dark circles under my eyes.” I said.

Doc said “Those are allergy shiners, a classic sign of a food allergy, the kind that is more subtle and can happen up to 4 days later after you’ve eaten something.” Great……

I had been changing my diet over the past few months (coffee) and thought I was doing good with oatmeal in the morning, a healthy wheat bread sandwich at lunch, dinner is another story – sometimes healthy and sometimes not.   But the point is, I took the darned test and it came back with allergic reactions on a majority of food and some food groups.  I was allergic to all dairy, eggs, wheat, wheat gluten, barley, oats, pork, turkey, and on and on.  Veggies like garlic and tomato – what? Did you say tomato?  Holy smokes, I’m growing 12 tomato plants in my garden alone.
I could go on and on, it’s easier to think about what I can have vs. what I can’t have.  I’m changing my diet, one step at a time and eliminating foods as much as possible.  There is a huge learning curve to this, and I am figuring out food labels.  The more I know, the more I’m shocked.  But so far so good. I’ve had a couple of set backs, but I just keep on trying.  The best cookbook I could find that fit my condition was one a diet for  AD/HD and Autistic Children, and Celiac Disease (which I don’t have). So I am learning food all over again, but going more organic, whole.  No breads, sugars, processed foods.  I’ll keep you posted on my progress.  I have already seen some weight loss, I’m all for that!

So I’m living the free life now — wheat free gluten free dairy free wooo hooo….

UPDATE AUG 14:

In going with my new food plan, I decided that I would first focus on elimating the processed foods dairy and wheat, but keep some of the real fruits and veggies in my eating plan, even though a few were on the bad list.  So last night I ate a delicious tomato and basil salad, despite tomatoes being on my list.  But I figured I’d know how it would react since everything else I ate was on my “good” list.  So, in the middle of eating the damn salad, I start sneezing. Then 20 minutes later I’m using my inhaler.  I guess I am allergic to tomatoes – for now anyway.  I keep hoping that I can get back to food I love like this. But it is sobering. I’m not sure I would have really put that together without doing this plan.  And the killer is I have 12 tomato plants growing.   How can an Italian survive without tomatoes??  :sigh:  Or deal with the reaction. One or the other.

I think the hardest part is that I don’t like to identify myself as “allergic” to anything.  It’s not how my mind operates.  I wonder if that thinking keeps me in that vibrational pattern or not.  Time will tell.

I was driving down a side street the other night,  making my way on a trip to BJ’s to pick up ribs in preparation for my son’s birthday dinner.  I was feeling a little low, as it was 7:30 on the night before his birthday when I’m running around getting things at the last minute. Seems to be a regular thing for me.  Days run out of daylight, and I’m still not done.  So, I’m sitting in the car (with my son sitting in the passenger side) asking myself in my head “What’s really going on here, why do I feel so…unenthused with everything?” and at that moment, Rush came on the radio singing Closer to the Heart.  At first I was excited, I turned up the radio, told my son “I LOVE this song”, until I started singing it….

And the men who hold high places
Must be the ones who start
To mold a new reality
Closer to the heart
Closer to the heart
The blacksmith and the artist
Reflect it in their art
They forge their creativity
Closer to the heart
Closer to the heart

Ouch, that hurt. Tears bubbled up to my eyes, as I’m driving with one hand, wiping my face with the other catching the teardrops, hoping to be invisible…Closer to the heart I thought.  That was it.  That is what is missing.  My list of things and deadlines looming is not closer to the heart.  The things that are filling all of my days and nights are not things closer to the heart.  Writing here is closer to the heart.  Meditating is closer to the heart.  Watching tv with the family is closer to the heart.

I will start prioritizing my time around things closer to the heart first, then allow for the other things to fill in.  We’ll see if that shifts my energy.