As the leaves fall

This time of year is always magical to me, the color and smell of the leaves, the deep blue skies, the crisp air, the crunch of leaves under my feet.  Fall is a time to let go, to release those leaves that no longer serve our purpose.  A time to get rid of all those attachments that aren’t really working out anymore.

There seems to be something going on at the underlayers of our thoughts and consciousness, and I wonder about the natural cycles that take place in our lives that we don’t necessarily relate to the seasons.  When we think about the American Indians, they lived their lives around nature and the seasons.  I find it hard to believe that those intuitive knowings have completely disappeared.   But, not to get too serious, yet stay in the spirit of letting go, I’ve put together my “Let-it-Go” list:

– The Saintly, come in under the radar,  Italian Veil of Guilt – I’m getting very good at seeing it coming cause I’ve been raised with the best of the best :-), but I am also known for throwing out a good guilt trip…

– Saying yes and pretending to comprehend a conversation even when I know I have no freaking clue because I’m not paying attention.  Usually I am interrupted while in the “business zone” as my son calls it…especially when he wants something, and I say “yes” just to get it done.   So far he’s tried to get several new video games, a new guitar, concert tickets, permission to do things he shouldn’t … all have been thwarted…so far.  It’s an on-going battle.

– Saying No – in so many dimensions – especially to the Fire and Police Associations who need help supporting the families of officers/firefighters who have died in the line of fire – how do you say no to that?  But really, I can’t swing it this time….

– Intentionally missing the “cooking window” for supper before announcing that “we haven’t had pizza in awhile”, which we all know is B.S.

It’s also time for renewal, planting for spring, and making room for a period of quiet gestation where things gather energy and prepare for emergence.  Then spring comes – and none too soon because I’m already feeling bitchy about the cold.  But, a little fertilizer doesn’t hurt during the quiet time, so here’s what I’ll tend to over the next few months, with the hopes of emerging in the spring with new habits:

– Reduce my ADD behavior online.  I’m all over the place.  I need to set up a schedule that forces me to close my email, Twitter, FriendFeed, and FB accounts.   Either that or someone will find me hunched over my computer frozen stuck reading the screen, typing endlessly to people who my husband calls “my friends” [emphasis on “friends”].  I need a better balance.

– Making time for me daily and not feeling guilty about it.  (talk to the hand)

– Not procrastinating everything – oops, wait a minute ….just kidding…

– Work up to lead guitar on Rock Band.   The rest of the band likes me just where I’m at…on bass :-)  I won’t be pushed in the background anymore!  So there.  I may even grab the mic.

What about you? What are you “letting go” this season?  Tis’ the season to shed those leaves.  Would love to hear your thoughts.

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