Category — Good Memories

My brother and his wife have lived in many places, but have not lived close by in years.  He’s often said he’s not coming back to Massachusetts, which has never really bothered me.  But, when they announced last year that they were having twins, I really started to feel the distance. I wanted to celebrate with them and our family, but this was going to be near impossible without traveling to see them.  If they lived close by, then throwing a baby shower would have been a no-brainer, but this was not going to be case.

So I started to look around to see how we could celebrate with them, and use web 2.0 technology as a tool to do that.  I’ve been a big SKYPE user for a couple of years now, and began to wonder if there was a way to use that as a mechanism to gather our family virtually.  I also investigated using streaming video software on a free platform like DimDim or LiveStream, but upon a closer look this required more logistical coordination with my brother’s computer and with him being in Portland, OR, that would have been tough.

Based on that research, I decided to use SKYPE as the tool for our communication.  It’s a free computer- to-computer communication tool, and uses the Internet as the “phone line”.  It has video capabilities too, and if your computer has a microphone and video camera, then it’s a snap to use.  Even if a computer does not have video or a microphone, it’s relatively cheap to pick up a web cam and mike (under $100 for a Windows PC).  I have a Mac and everything is built right in.  I did decide to purchase a separate web cam though, because the field of view in my built-in camera is limited and my vision for orchestrating this was on a grander scheme .  Keep in mind that Mac peripherals like web cams cost more than a Windows system and it’s important to make sure the technology purchased is compatible with Macs.  Not every web cam out there works with a Mac.

So here’s how everything went, the good, bad and the ugly:

1.  I had my brother purchase a web cam so we could “see” them for the shower call.  We tested out our SKYPE video a few times leading up to the shower date to make sure they were set and ready.

2.  I sent out an email invitation to everyone on our “list”. This work is no different than planning other showers, except that everything is done electronically and you need working email addresses.  The invitation outlined the date/time, and informed everyone we were using SKYPE and required setting up a free account.  On the invitations, I intially set it up on Evite.com, which lets you manage RSVPs online.  But I found it that folks needed a registered account to make it work, and that created confusion.  I heard from several people with problems.  I followed up with a regular email to everyone and ended up sticking with that vs. using the Evite system.

For the gift coordination, I shared all baby shower registry information, and set a deadline to mail gifts to my sister-in-law by a certain date.  The goal here was to have her open the gifts using the video feature on SKYPE and share with us the goodies.

3.  I requested an RSVP with their SKYPE user name.

4.  I encouraged people to gather together in groups to minimize confusion and encourage a family celebration.  I held a small gathering at my house for my local family, had appetizers and such just like a regular shower.  This worked well, and we had 4 groups in different states gathered which made the coordination much easier.  You can have up to 20 people on a SKYPE call at once, but it can get overwhelming trying to sort through that many contacts.

5.  I sent out email reminders before the gift deadline and a couple of days before the shower, and reminded folks to sign up for SKYPE if they had not done so.

6.  I wanted to kick things up a notch and broadcast this gala event on my TV and not use my computer as the main screen.  I have a 50″ widescreen TV, and it would make viewing for our guests much easier and more exciting.  Plus, I wanted my brother and sister-in law to see everyone at our house too, hence the external web cam made it easier to set up and place in a strategic location near my laptop.  I had to buy a special cable to make the Laptop to TV connection – I did a few Internet searches, found an online cable company, called their tech support line because I had no clue what I needed…. and thankfully they were helpful and ordered me a cable!  Make sure to test things out before hand to make sure it works!  Do this at least 2 weeks in advance to give you time to return something if it doesn’t work the first time.  The cable I purchased was for video only. I found out after I could have done an audio/video connection but my laptop sufficed with its speakers for the audio portion.

7.  On the day of the party, I connected with everyone on SKYPE and set a specific “call” time.

8.  At the call time, I used SKYPE’s “start a conference call”.  I found out that this is not the same as a “Video conference call”.  To do a video conference call, everyone needed the latest version of SKYPE loaded on their computer.  Since there were four computers connecting, this was not a huge hassle, but it did set us back about 30 minutes.  Lesson learned here is make sure that everyone has the very latest software loaded.  You’d think that if folks set up a new account they would have the latest software, but this was not the case.  Because we were trying to access the video feature, SKYPE prompted us to what we needed to download.

Once we had everything right, the video call worked!  We had 4 locations with about 20 people total participating. SKYPE let’s you toggle between different video screens for those who were participating so we could see everyone and everyone could see us.  It was a blast, and watching everything on the big TV was a huge hit!  We could see my sister-in-law’s BIG belly, which was just hilarious because she was tiny to begin with and she was having twins.  We watched her open her gifts and share them with us, which was great.

We did not organize any games, it would have been challenging to coordinate.  We were just happy to pull the whole thing off.  After the call, we ended up calling back our relatives in Florida (who participated) and video chatted with them for awhile on the big screen.

While it wasn’t the same pomp and circumstance as a regular baby shower, we certainly had fun and shared in the joy and excitement with our family. Now we have everyone using SKYPE as a regular communication tool, and now that the babies are here, we can see them on the screen anytime we want.

SKYPE is truly a blessing and brings people together!

Don’t be afraid to give it a try…good luck!

It was a typical morning that started out with all its rituals.  Tea, breakfast for boy, let dog out, gather school things, issue order to brush teeth….no response, issue it twice…no response, yell about teeth, then yell again for dawdling and being late.   As I was getting ready to walk out the door, I knew I had a few extra minutes to clean snow off the truck…A-gain.  Until I realized that my car keys were no where to be found.  At first I was fine, I went through all the rigamarole of retracing last steps, thinking methodically.  When that ran out of runway, I resorted to creating mass chaos, shuffling papers all around my office, mail around the kitchen,  emptying my handbag once, then twice, then panic started to set in.  But then I realized that my husband had driven it the day before when he was plowing the driving.  So I run downstairs to his man-cave and fish around the table or his coat pockets (a dangerous mission at best).  Nothing.

Meanwhile, I still had to clean the car off and time was ticking. As I’m panicking, I realize that there is a spare key.  I’m spending all this time looking for MY key and not using the spare key. Classic moment.  All that hubub for nothing.

But it’s a tough time of year for us New Englander’s.  We are sick and tired of the snow. We got another 4 inches yesterday.

My husband plows and I can tell you our customers are sick of writing checks to us, but the snow continues to hit. We’ve had more storms this year than in several years prior.  And, Spring has been teasing us.  Every time we see green grass again and 50 degrees, we get another storm.  All this snow has me longing for warmer weather.

So back to the lost keys – I posted a note on my whiteboard that said “Keys Please?” to remind others that I was still searching.  And what started out as a plea for my car keys has turned into another plea.  A plea for a trip to the Keys….especially our favorite Key West. We usually take a trip annually as our adult vacation, but my new budget wasn’t having that this year.  So over the past few days, my husband and I have been taking a virtual vacation with our white board:

We got palm trees, sunset, drinks, scooters, the Half Shell, the X-rated factor (ala my husband’s addition) and the last item of the man in the chair falling is a very funny story that happened to a fellow dear to my heart while closing down Irish Kevin’s.   Guess what happens when your feet get stuck in a stool while it’s tipping over?  We laughed for days then, and we’re still laughing now.  Can’t wait to get back there in the Fall.  I don’t think I can let the budget determine that this year!

Anyone else love the Keys?  October here we come!

I always get a little sentimental around the holidays.  I am a reflective person by nature (duh, like you didn’t know).  I do long for holidays past, when life seemed a bit simpler.  I was reminded of this when I was exchanging emails with my cousin Donna, who is serving in the Air Force down in Arizona right now.  She misses home these days too, she was part of our family gatherings way back when.

Christmas Eve and Day were not just holidays, they were major events.   I spent most of my time with my family on my mother’s side, which was all 100% Italian.  A variety of Italian-English words were spoken in half sentences, Fortissimo wine was served and it was so strong it would make your hair stand on end.   My Uncle George and Nonni would sit there and “Beve” all afternoon.   My grandmother (Nonna) and Auntie May would get all riled up, and wouldn’t like that too much.

There’d be multi-course meals, then fruit and nuts, then dessert.  And did I mention the family?  Yea, we’d all congregate there and spend hours on end. And I mean hours.  It was always extra special when we got together with our family from Southbridge who used to live an hour away.

It would all start in the mid-afternoon of Christmas Eve, we’d all go to our grandmother’s house and start cooking.  We were big into the Feast of 7 Fishes, so we’d have a smorgasboard of food to choose from.  Over here was squid being stuffed, pasta being churned over there, and my grandmother at the counter would be slicing open live lobsters while they kicked their displeasure.   She showed no fear, I can still see her doing it in my head.  Everyone would have a task, no matter what age. My cousin Lisa hated lobsters, and we used to tease her unmercifully by pretending we were clipping her with lobster claws…of course the claw was our make-believe hands, but it seemed real.

We all participated in the preparations, and just enjoy being in the presence of our family.  And the evening wouldn’t end until midnight or later, sometimes we’d head to midnight mass, although they wouldn’t always drag us kids.  We’d either be sleeping on the benches or making too much of scene from being overtired.  You know,  the sound of giggles in between Latin verses, piercing eyes that blared “QUIET” from the elders…

And then we’d go home (sometimes), and come back early the next day to do it all over again. We’d play a card game called Tumblr, which was an easy-to-understand, fun game that all ages can play.   Bets were made with coins, and we’d all bring our coin jars that we’d save up over the year.  And laugh…oh yes, our group erupted in laughter over and over, especially when we won those silly little side bets.  I also learned to play a mean game of 500 Rummy too during these marathons.

The smells in this kitchen were just amazing.  If I even get a slight whiff of that smell today, my eyes tear up. Last time that happened I was in Little Italy in New York City.

This experience is not quite what we have today.  In fact, it pales in comparison but it is nonetheless good.   The challenges with today is that we all have so many places we need to be. And with more divorced families, hanging around with one family for 2 straight days is an impossibility.  Plus, many of us have moved afar to Florida, Arizona, Orgegon, South Dakota and geographics make it difficult.

I am grateful to have those memories, for they brought such a deep respect for my Italian culture and heritage growing up.  I am proud to be the host for Christmas Eve nowadays.  I try to tie in some of the culture from what I remember.  I’m lucky my Mom lives with me and we can share in some of those “preparations” for the evening together.   It’s a special time.  But it does bring up longing for a past that is just that, the past.

It was funny was seeing my husband settle into this family tradition of long visits.  His family does things very differently, and we jokingly discuss the “First in-First Out” tradition there.  Usually on the way over to any family event, he’s talking about when we will leave.  But he found that leaving wasn’t really an option with my family.  They just stayed.  And stayed.  And stayed.  He eventually went to lay down, while we stayed some more.

But it was all in good fun, and he came to appreciate some of those traditions.  And now that we have Christmas Eve, family doesn’t stay as long as they used to. So it all works out.

The main point is to be present with our family and friends to share life, break bread, and celebrate the holiday.  Life is precious.  We don’t know what’s going to happen next.

This year we are trying to revive a old tradition or two, whether it be a new dish to the menu or playing Tumblr again.  Feel free to share any traditions that are important to you and your family, I’d love to hear them and we can all learn from each other.

Many blessings to you and your family.  From the bottom of my heart, I wish you all a peaceful, joyous holiday season.

p.s. To Donna, Jason, James, and Val’s cousin Jay, thanks for your service to our country – you guys rock…  Merry Christmas!!

Did you ever have one of those days or weeks when it feels like your world is tilted ever so slightly?  Things slip by, emails get lost, computers crash, stuff happens.  So last week was one of those weeks.  Two things that were very important in my life vanished, literally.  I couldn’t believe it, or rather didn’t want to believe it.

Sure, my Thanksgiving was wonderful and I am grateful to have spent time with family and celebrated my sister-in-law Kelly’s birthday (yeah!).  But other than that, my world felt like it was tilting.   Let me explain.

It all started last Saturday (not the one that just passed) when I got an email that a very very dear friend, Christine MacFarlane, was in coma at a Boston hospital, and things did not look good.  Christine is like a soul sister to me.  I met her when I started my personal evolution to explore my spirituality and she guided me through so much.  She introduced me to my most favorite authors like Esther & Jerry Hicks and the Abraham series, Florence Scovel Shinn, Catherine Ponder, Eric Butterworth, and on and on.  She was instrumental to how my journey has evolved, and we spoke often sharing, laughing, crying over whatever was going on.  And we helped each other through some tough times.   And then in a split second or two, she was gone.  For good.  No long goodbyes.   She wouldn’t want me beleaguring this down side, and I won’t for too long.  But she was a rock in my spiritual foundation, then a piece of that rock crumbled.

Second rock moved when later that day, after I found out she was in a coma, and my tai chi/kung-fu Sensei delivered his news — that he was not going to be teaching anymore… Say what???  Can you repeat that please?  Yup, he’s not teaching anymore and that’s it.  He’s done. For good.   WHHAAATTT??

I did not over react at the moment, I felt sad for him. I knew it was a decision that was difficult for him.  And I’ve been working with him for the last 3 years, every week learning something new.  A new meditation, a new self defense move, a series of forms that almost feel like ballet at times, but are deadly at the same moment.  I loved my tai chi, it was my time.  It was part of my spiritual journey.  But yet, another rock shifted in the foundation.

The reality is that these shifts happen all the time, to all of us.  And I’m reminded that usually when a shift like this happens, it is always for the best even though I can’t see it at the moment.  In both cases, I am a better person for  knowing both my friend Christine and my teacher Mike, and all the gifts they have both given me over the years.   I can continue to practice tai chi on my own, and perfect what I liked the most.   And I can also release that which I don’t really care about.

And while losing anyone we love is never easy, I must look to new ways to embrace things.   I do know that Christine’s spirit is still with me, I can feel her around at times.  I might have a thought that would be something she would say.   And the day before Thanksgiving didn’t I receive an e-card that she had queued up to her circle of friends sending all of us “Extravagent Blessings” just days after she passed.   She was a constant source of light, love, and friendship like no other.  I know her family and friends all feel the same. As for my training of tai chi, I can continue to embrace all there is to learn and continue my journey there.  There is no end unless I make one.  It will just be different.  I’m sure my Sensei and I will reconnect at some point.

I think it’s important to remember that when our worlds shift like this, that while our first reaction may be to batten down the hatches and go inside, that we should not be afraid to reach outside ourselves. Remember that others do care about us, and are there to help us through no matter how small the gesture.  I had many friends share such wonderful, supportive comments on Facebook and in email, and that was special itself.

I always say it’s always darkest before dawn.  It’s a fundamental truth.  And in the times when the world feels like it’s tilting, we just need to hang on, let it do its thing.  It will settle out. It always does.  I’m trying to relax into the change that’s here.  Intuitively I know it’s for my own good.

Here’s something my friend Christine shared with me that I think is worth repeating. It’s helped me keep the faith in times like this.  It’s a quote from Edwene Gaines, a spiritual leader in the Laws of Prosperity:

When you come to the edge of all that you know and

you are getting ready to step off into the unknown,

Faith is knowing that one of two things WILL happen:

(1) When you make that step there will be something there for you to stand on

or

(2) You’ll learn how to fly.

Time to put on my wings….

Veteran’s Day is one of those holidays that doesn’t get enough recognition.  Well, it does but it doesn’t.  It’s one of those holidays that just sort of passes by, maybe a parade or ceremony in our areas, but nothing that is really over the top.  And it is too bad, because it deserves equal fanfare as July 4th.  It’s just as special, and possibly more near and dear to our hearts because it represents a lineage of family who fought for our country, year-in, year-out.  It’s our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, cousins, neighbors, our families and friends.  They deserve fireworks, and all the fanfare that we can muster.

My husband’s got an Uncle Dick, who is quite the character and lady charmer (in a good way), recently completed a detailed geneaology project, which tracked his mother’s lineage all the back to the Mayflower.   It even goes back to England and some King lineage.  He published his findings in book that recorded every family name.  It’s quite impressive.

But what was also obvious was their dedication to serving this country.  So many generations, this family participated in just about every war.  And we have several near and dear to our hearts out there fighting now. (Donna & Jason, James, Jay)

So it’s for them, every veteran, and every active duty personnel serving today, that we share our heartfelt thanks for doing your part and being in service to our country.  You help our freedom reign.

Thank you

Do you remember when the first time you ever memorized something – like the dreaded times tables?  You memorize and memorize, giving the brain a workout, over and over until you are bored silly?  Then all of a sudden, there you are at the math test and a lightbulb goes off you realize you have access to a whole new level of information?

Its almost like walking through life with your head facing down, and then you look up, and you’re in an entirely different place?  Like a quantum leap of sorts… Well, that happened to me recently and I wanted to share.

Some may know that I’ve been training in tai chi/kung-fu going on 2 years now. It’s one of those things that I’ve come to truly love and look forward to like nothing else.  The gym never worked for me, I’m not a big fan of exercising in groups, I prefer private lessons.  Of course, the budget doesn’t allow for alot of those, but my one indulgence is this art.

Even pilates grew tiresome and eventually didn’t fit into my schedule.  There’s something about martial arts that taps into a deeper part of my soul.  But it’s not all roses, there are some weeks when I feel like I’m doing the same thing, over and over, and get annoyed.

It’s always those moments though, that have the greatest to offer in a sense of learning.   So the last 2 months or so we’ve been working on a series of forms to develop a “type” of energy or jing that does all this funky stuff.   I feel so incredible afterwards, so alive.  So, some of the basic training elements are simple – squats, punches, kicks, wax on, wax off type stuff.   You do it over and over.  And over and over.   But sometimes a class can be like sex without an orgasm (as my SIL used to say) – you do it over and over…and over and over and nothing…  but I digress…

But then, over the weekend I had one of those moments…I get the click-click-click, the sound of the tumblers in the lock all falling into place.  And I’m looking into a bigger world with greater understanding.

I was doing one of the forms we had been practicing, and I felt it, I felt the power that my sensei has been talking about.  Zing…Whoa….omg what was that?  Then it was just “there” like it was always there. But I had never felt it before, quite that way, until that moment in time.   I’m not going to describe “what” I was doing because it will be confusing to explain (one of these days I’ll get a video rolling)  but that isn’t really the point.

The point is that I’ve discovered I am living for these poingnant moments, to deepen my understanding, to rediscover something I already knew, and take those quantum leaps.  As it is with most things, its the transition points that give us all the leverage, and we just “exist” in the moments in between.

What about you? When was the last time you had a moment like this?  Would love to hear about it.

Until next time…

I have a hard time with daylight savings time in the Fall.  “Falling” back in time in general doesn’t work for me.  My preference is not to go back, it hasn’t served me well in the past.  The real issue is that I feel extra tired extra early with sun setting so early, every day.  I long for my evening walks at dusk.  The smell of grass.  Dog at my side.

But this time of year really screws with my internal balance mechanisms and I feel like the world is slightly tilted.   I’m ready for bed by 9 pm.  Now my college buddies or cousins would probably not find this surprising…as I was always ragged on for hitting the sack early.  Hey, I like my sleep, and it didn’t help that I didn’t make the drinking age cutoff at school.  But I digress.

I spend a majority of my time at this computer, working my day job.  I’m not complaining, I’m fortunate enough to have a home office and I love my commute.  But ask anyone who’s been in the presence of my office for any period of time, and they will tell you it’s anything but peaceful.

I sit in basically a major traffic zone in my home.  It screws with my good chi.   My husband operates his construction company in the basement, so they come up and down for this and that.  My mother comes over to visit as she & my Dad live in the inlaw residence.  Her visits often happen at the most inopportune moments when I can’t really talk to her, which makes her mad at times…Sorry, Mom!   Then we also have my daughter Valerie and my grandson JJ who is 2, who are also around during the workday and add to the distraction level.

So, as we approach this coming Sunday’s time change, I’m struggling with the balance of things.  Good news is that after Sunday we can start moving toward the better, more light days.  Let’s just get it over with. Like the election.  Everyone is on edge and it’s time to move forward.

I do try to savor every moment, but they even find me there. Just tonight I decided to take a shower and no sooner was I in there when my son knocked on the door.  It went like this:

“Hey Mum, there you are….I know what I want to be for Halloween.”

<<Squeak, door opening into the bath.>>

ME:  Oh yea, what is that?”

“I am going to be a prisoner.  A prisoner with a guitar.  I thought that since my guitar strap looked like it was from a prison, I would be a prisoner rock star. ”

ME (wondering why we are having this conversation now):  “Are you sure about the prisoner thing?  Those two images of a rock star in prisoner garb isn’t a great match”  then  silently thought well, yea it really does…

“Well that’s what I want to do, be a prisoner with a guitar walking around.”

ME:  Ok, if that’s what you want.  It’s your night.  Ok, well is that it?

(Now the big sell job) “Well, I was just wondering…like when can we go to the store to get the rest of my costume? It’s only a few days away<…pause….silence ….>and I was thinking that maybe we could go to-..”

ME: Cut him off with “Well, I can tell you I won’t be jumping out of this shower to head to the costume store…is this really the best time to discuss this?  Let’s finish this later….”

—end

If its not one thing, is another.  Second story is what we call the “Eyelash Incident”:

My son and daughter were in the bathroom together, he was brushing his teeth for bed, and she was getting ready to go out.  She was curling her eyelashes with one of those eye curler things, and my son thought it would be “funny” to tweak her arm so she moves her hand.  What the clod didn’t realize was how hard he “flicked” her elbow up and she ripped out 85% of her eyelashes.  They were still on the curler.  OMG, poor thing!  That almost started WW3.  Until he locked himself in the bath, which of course did wonders for that scenario.   This was very upsetting to my daughter, as she likes to be put together.  This of course affected her entire night. There are still a few remnants of drama lingering.

So with this as a stage and my home office’s exclusive box seat, I have to remember to take a minute and give myself a moment to catch my breathe and balance myself.   Especially during Daylight Savings Time.   Extra TLC is required to make it through.  Otherwise snappage could occur.  And that won’t be pretty.

Until next time…

It was a bright, beautiful fall day. The air was crisp, I couldn’t have asked for better weather on a day full of beginnings.  That was Oct. 13, 1991 when my husband and I got married.  Of course, there were some other more humorous moments throughout the day, some of which were recorded on video.  But life was different then, the question is how different?

So, with 17 years of reflection, here’s what I know now about marriage and relationships that I didn’t know then.

1. I didn’t know jack shit on my wedding day.  Everything I thought I knew was an ideal or a false belief.

2.  Relationships are the equivalent of getting a PhD in life, it’s a never ending process of learning.

3.  Falling in love and being in love are two different things.  The falling part is the roller coaster ride, the being in love piece is more like a bicycle ride.  It’s a bit slower, and there are some harder hills, and sometimes partners are helping each other push up the bigger hills, sometimes you need to walk it, and then you can coast down the other sides together.

4.  Being a good parent does not mean you are being a good spouse.  Kids will add love and joy to a home and expand our hearts, but they can complicate things too and do not always complete a marriage or a relationship.  When I met my husband, he had two little girls ages 2 and 3.  They were adorable, and all we wanted for those girls was to provide a stable, loving home to grow roots. What I didn’t realize is that becoming a parent is a journey too, and not a really great one to thrust upon a new relationship that is still forming its own roots.  Be gentle with yourself and partner, and take the time to nourish each other before bringing others into the equation.  Because parenting will suck your energy away from each other, and even though it feels like you are working at your “relationship” you are really just developing your parenting skills.  It takes time, patience, and honest reflection.  Nourish youselves first, then you’ll have more to offer the kids.

5.  It’s all small stuff 99.5% time.  I do mean this whole-heartedly.  It IS all small stuff.  Just be careful because small stuff will add up to big stuff when ignored long enough.  This is where the breakdowns happen, feelings are ignored, voices not heard or understood, missing small opportunities that creates disappointment, small resentments that build, and so on.  So pay attention to the small stuff only so you can acknowledge it and let it go.  Holding on is where the trouble all starts, because when it becomes big enough, it can break a relationship. Which leads me to my next insight…

6.  It’s not important to be right.  Enough said.  It’s just not. Period.  If it is, then you will likely be imposing your thoughts and will on your partner, and they may or may not hear you.   Some days you may need to fall on your sword, just do it.  Be humbled, say you are sorry, don’t carry on because of the one point you still need to make.  Being right usually means you’ve stopped listening to the other person which becomes a catalyst for many other unbalanced things including seeking the opinions of others outside the relationship just to be validated, which breathes more life into bad energy, and so on.  Stop the spiral.  Mea culpa.

7.  A marriage is a story of 2 journeys, not one.  I say this because I fell into the Cinderalla story of “happily ever after” and believed that a marriage forms one journey of two souls.  What I’ve since realized is that it always has been a sharing of 2 journeys, not one.  Each of us has a personal reason of being who we are, and doing what we do, and being married does not mean that you change your entire journey to match your partners.  It is and will always be 2 journeys that open up the doors of acceptance, love, admiration, honesty between each other.  Loving each other, accepting each other, and being present for things that we each must experience so we can learn from our journeys and share the insights.  Yes, our 2-journey paths converge, which is good, but it’s the process of how we rediscover our paths back to each other that allows a stronger, richer love to grow.

Well, I think that’s what I’ve got for now.  I may come up with a couple more later, and likely less serious in nature as I reflect on the funny side of being married 17 years.  Such as:

- No household project is never really ever finished
- Socks seem to defect from our household in record numbers
- “What’s for dinner” can sometimes be a grenede launcher into a hand-to-hand battle
- Snoring can result in murderous thoughts
- And any sentence starting with “You Should” needs to be stricken from the vocabulary

Thanks for reading! Make sure to laugh out loud today!  I know I am…. 17 years and “they” thought we’d never make it….

Ok so here’s the big question… If you are a woman reading this, I want to know – do you like the way your ass looks??

Are you one of those people who think they have a nice ass but really do not?  Or perhaps a decent ass but never really thought about it that way.  Well, I don’t know where the heck I fall into this range, but all I know is that I do try to get a gander of my personal “rear view”.

But you know those moments…you’re walking by the 3-way mirror in the dressing room and boom, you can finally see it.   Straining to see behind me, craning my neck, I give it the full assessment.  It’s ok, I would think. Not the best but hey, not chopped liver.

Until today.  Today I received in email some photos from the event I went to in Cleveland.  And guess what was in the picture, a prime view of my rear view…to which I GASPED OH MY GOODNESS….. It’s WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!

And to make matters worse, I didn’t just let it go by, I had to zoom in and get a closer look.  I just had to torture myself and get a closer gander.

What happened to all the damned squats I’ve been doing faithfully??  Where is all my chi goodness?  What the heck happened? All my sweat, practicing my forms, sit ups, stretches, blah blah blah…  I thought the tapping after a hard chi workout dissolved fat cells…not that I can see!

“It’s” caught up in a fold that should have been straightened out by SPANX.  I gotta try those things… Funny thing is while I was in Cleveland, I was wearing a light camel color pants, and they fit pretty well.  Until I went into the elevator and caught the gander on my hip, that was clearly showing panty lines and other unsightfuls… I thought, damn I need to change these pants!  This is not happening!

Ok so, I should love myself more, la-dee-dah…  I’m not usually vain or really care about things like this.  But its those gasping moments… I just had to share.

I just entered into my 4th decade of being on this planet.  Despite the angst of turning the big 4-0, I did manage to enjoy myself quite a bit.  And ate alot of cake…of course the surroundings were different as evidenced in these photos:

Cake at home:

Cake with the Girls:

So about this past weekend… A few months back, a few of us had talked about getting away for a weekend up north to our cabin on Willoughby Lake in Vermont.  Originally it was going to be a weekend down to my brother’s house in Cape Coral, FL… but my new budget consciousness told me that that trip was “out of the budget…”  So plan B was heading to Vermont, and we had a great time…

Figuring the foliage would be prime, and it was, me and my three best friends spent the weekend at the lake.

Pam, Lori, Kelly in that order

We did card readings with Russian Gypsy cards - they are alot of fun, easy so anyone can do them unlike the Rider-Waite decks.   Even better was a couple of friends I met up in Vt when I was much younger – I think it was 12 yrs old – were also visiting for the weekend and they came over to join the party Sat night.

Know what was nicest about being away?

- I didn’t have to be accountable
- I didn’t have to step over any one elses clothes
- I could drink and eat what I wanted without hearing “what can I have”
- I could talk about men without having to worry who is around the corner
- I could go to bed without feeling guilty like I owed somebody a little something something
- The only noise at night was me breathing, and maybe a few crickets
- Girlfriends seem to know exactly what you would like, as opposed to husbands who are completely clueless and require coaching which at that point MISSES THE POINT

Ok, maybe I’m only looking on one side of the coin, but it was pretty delicious to be there and just do nothing, or anything.  Life has been full of suprises lately so it was a perfect moment to kick back with friends and not worry.

Thanks to Kelly, Pam, and Lori – who hung out with me.  My cousin Lisa was supposed to come….ahem…but nooo….her daughter had to up and have a baby on her .   And Jodi and Jill who also came by to participate in the festivities, and brought some great wine I finished off….  They are the coolest ladies, full of wisdom, intuition and compassion, I’m grateful for them in my life.  They showered me with such lovely gifts too…I really am speechless.

And thanks to my new Facebook friends who wished me a Happy Birthday!  All my old Waltham school friends are resurfacing, and it is really cool to reconnect with them all.

Thank you Thank you….

Ok, promise a funnier blog post is coming.   Wait till you see this pic.