Category — Tai Chi-Qi Gong

Did you ever have one of those days or weeks when it feels like your world is tilted ever so slightly?  Things slip by, emails get lost, computers crash, stuff happens.  So last week was one of those weeks.  Two things that were very important in my life vanished, literally.  I couldn’t believe it, or rather didn’t want to believe it.

Sure, my Thanksgiving was wonderful and I am grateful to have spent time with family and celebrated my sister-in-law Kelly’s birthday (yeah!).  But other than that, my world felt like it was tilting.   Let me explain.

It all started last Saturday (not the one that just passed) when I got an email that a very very dear friend, Christine MacFarlane, was in coma at a Boston hospital, and things did not look good.  Christine is like a soul sister to me.  I met her when I started my personal evolution to explore my spirituality and she guided me through so much.  She introduced me to my most favorite authors like Esther & Jerry Hicks and the Abraham series, Florence Scovel Shinn, Catherine Ponder, Eric Butterworth, and on and on.  She was instrumental to how my journey has evolved, and we spoke often sharing, laughing, crying over whatever was going on.  And we helped each other through some tough times.   And then in a split second or two, she was gone.  For good.  No long goodbyes.   She wouldn’t want me beleaguring this down side, and I won’t for too long.  But she was a rock in my spiritual foundation, then a piece of that rock crumbled.

Second rock moved when later that day, after I found out she was in a coma, and my tai chi/kung-fu Sensei delivered his news — that he was not going to be teaching anymore… Say what???  Can you repeat that please?  Yup, he’s not teaching anymore and that’s it.  He’s done. For good.   WHHAAATTT??

I did not over react at the moment, I felt sad for him. I knew it was a decision that was difficult for him.  And I’ve been working with him for the last 3 years, every week learning something new.  A new meditation, a new self defense move, a series of forms that almost feel like ballet at times, but are deadly at the same moment.  I loved my tai chi, it was my time.  It was part of my spiritual journey.  But yet, another rock shifted in the foundation.

The reality is that these shifts happen all the time, to all of us.  And I’m reminded that usually when a shift like this happens, it is always for the best even though I can’t see it at the moment.  In both cases, I am a better person for  knowing both my friend Christine and my teacher Mike, and all the gifts they have both given me over the years.   I can continue to practice tai chi on my own, and perfect what I liked the most.   And I can also release that which I don’t really care about.

And while losing anyone we love is never easy, I must look to new ways to embrace things.   I do know that Christine’s spirit is still with me, I can feel her around at times.  I might have a thought that would be something she would say.   And the day before Thanksgiving didn’t I receive an e-card that she had queued up to her circle of friends sending all of us “Extravagent Blessings” just days after she passed.   She was a constant source of light, love, and friendship like no other.  I know her family and friends all feel the same. As for my training of tai chi, I can continue to embrace all there is to learn and continue my journey there.  There is no end unless I make one.  It will just be different.  I’m sure my Sensei and I will reconnect at some point.

I think it’s important to remember that when our worlds shift like this, that while our first reaction may be to batten down the hatches and go inside, that we should not be afraid to reach outside ourselves. Remember that others do care about us, and are there to help us through no matter how small the gesture.  I had many friends share such wonderful, supportive comments on Facebook and in email, and that was special itself.

I always say it’s always darkest before dawn.  It’s a fundamental truth.  And in the times when the world feels like it’s tilting, we just need to hang on, let it do its thing.  It will settle out. It always does.  I’m trying to relax into the change that’s here.  Intuitively I know it’s for my own good.

Here’s something my friend Christine shared with me that I think is worth repeating. It’s helped me keep the faith in times like this.  It’s a quote from Edwene Gaines, a spiritual leader in the Laws of Prosperity:

When you come to the edge of all that you know and

you are getting ready to step off into the unknown,

Faith is knowing that one of two things WILL happen:

(1) When you make that step there will be something there for you to stand on

or

(2) You’ll learn how to fly.

Time to put on my wings….

Do you remember when the first time you ever memorized something – like the dreaded times tables?  You memorize and memorize, giving the brain a workout, over and over until you are bored silly?  Then all of a sudden, there you are at the math test and a lightbulb goes off you realize you have access to a whole new level of information?

Its almost like walking through life with your head facing down, and then you look up, and you’re in an entirely different place?  Like a quantum leap of sorts… Well, that happened to me recently and I wanted to share.

Some may know that I’ve been training in tai chi/kung-fu going on 2 years now. It’s one of those things that I’ve come to truly love and look forward to like nothing else.  The gym never worked for me, I’m not a big fan of exercising in groups, I prefer private lessons.  Of course, the budget doesn’t allow for alot of those, but my one indulgence is this art.

Even pilates grew tiresome and eventually didn’t fit into my schedule.  There’s something about martial arts that taps into a deeper part of my soul.  But it’s not all roses, there are some weeks when I feel like I’m doing the same thing, over and over, and get annoyed.

It’s always those moments though, that have the greatest to offer in a sense of learning.   So the last 2 months or so we’ve been working on a series of forms to develop a “type” of energy or jing that does all this funky stuff.   I feel so incredible afterwards, so alive.  So, some of the basic training elements are simple – squats, punches, kicks, wax on, wax off type stuff.   You do it over and over.  And over and over.   But sometimes a class can be like sex without an orgasm (as my SIL used to say) – you do it over and over…and over and over and nothing…  but I digress…

But then, over the weekend I had one of those moments…I get the click-click-click, the sound of the tumblers in the lock all falling into place.  And I’m looking into a bigger world with greater understanding.

I was doing one of the forms we had been practicing, and I felt it, I felt the power that my sensei has been talking about.  Zing…Whoa….omg what was that?  Then it was just “there” like it was always there. But I had never felt it before, quite that way, until that moment in time.   I’m not going to describe “what” I was doing because it will be confusing to explain (one of these days I’ll get a video rolling)  but that isn’t really the point.

The point is that I’ve discovered I am living for these poingnant moments, to deepen my understanding, to rediscover something I already knew, and take those quantum leaps.  As it is with most things, its the transition points that give us all the leverage, and we just “exist” in the moments in between.

What about you? When was the last time you had a moment like this?  Would love to hear about it.

Until next time…