Category — Thinking thoughts

I was walking along the dirt road in my vacation spot in Vermont, and I was really enjoying myself.  The birds were singing, I could hear the loons out on the lake crooning.  It was a surreal moment, feeling all zen.  Until the damn fly…or should I say flies…started buzzing around my head just enough to annoy me.  In my ear, around my head.  I walked by a patch of sunlight … just enough to see in a shadow reflection 3 or 4 flies buzzing around my head.  Cripskes, it was enough to make me start swatting, crazily, like some nut cake who is entertaining to watch if you happen to see them working their issues on the street.

So there I was, flies disturbing my zen.  It got me thinking…(surprise)…  Because I’m the type of person who can tune things out pretty well.  Why is this bothering me?

How often do we let small things, like flies or mosquitoes buzzing around us…just kill a moment of joy?  Extrapolating to bigger pictures, how often do we let small annoyances take a way from the bigger picture? That snide comment, the wrong order at Dunkins, the crappy attitude at the cashier…

Pretty often, I’d say.  Lesson learned.

So, what does the word JUST mean? According to Merriam Webster‘s Dictionary as an adjective (as used here)

How many times a day do you use the word “Just”?  I really dislike it’s “Conforming” aspect of the description as depicted in Merriam Webster…

This has recently been brought to my attention through a lecture by Joyce Meyer…and I’m aware that I use the word often.   Even when I use it, I find it’s dis-empowering and justifies something that often requires no justification.  I’m going to keep track this weekend of how often I use the word daily.  I’ll report back.  It feels lazy already, and I haven’t started yet.

Have you ever heard yourself saying this:

“If I only just…”

“If they only just..”

“I’m just …:

It sounds  like a wasteful word, doesn’t it?  Why don’t we JUST lost the “JUST”?

” If I only”

“If they only”

You get the drift.  This word is used to help justify or posture something that is only important to the SAYER and not the RECEIVER.  It helps make the SAYER feel better. From the RECEIVER  side if feels like an excuse? Or does it?

I’m thinking thoughts…(or “JUST” thinking thoughts)…

When do you use the word JUST and is it necessary? Can we choose a better word that depicts our  true feelings or position without excuse or posture?

“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.”
Anais Nin

I have to admit that this post has been percolating for some time.  I’ve been unsure of what exactly I want to say here, except that my thoughts around the act of be-coming has been something in the making.

I’ve been indicating that I’m in a point of transition.  I’m nervous about making that big step from one known entity of me to another.  I’m not necessarily creating a totally new version of me, but more a releasing of an older version.

Do you ever have the feeling that you have more to offer than what you are currently bringing to the world?

Do you ever feel trapped into staying and doing the “what’s known” side of you than venturing and investing into  a side of you that is more unknown?  Unknown in terms of how it will all fit in with home-life-career-family-everything?

And it’s funny because it’s not my first boondoggle making this type of change either.  I went through this process about 9 years ago when I started consulting for a living.  It was scary because at the time, I didn’t know quite how to do it and was worried about how it would all work.  Now looking back 9 years later, I’m still here, successful and know the ebbs and flows of working in this capacity.  The difference between today and that time is that back then, I was relying upon my marketing skill base as a means for generating income vs. now, where there are skills-I-don’t-have-yet-that-I’ll-need-but-won’t-know-until-I-make-this-move type stuff going on.  A bigger unknown looms out there.  It’s tantalizing at the same time.

But in the words of the late Clarence Clemons (who I will miss) said “my purpose in life is to bring joy and light to the world” and music was his way.  I feel this same desire and yearning.  Up to this point my “music” was marketing…  But I’m feeling the need go beyond that.  To a new level that allows me to use this gift, but in a whole new way.

Bear with me as I work through my feet in two camps.  It won’t be long.  The desire is too strong.

Stay tuned….

Image source

I was watching the movie “Master and Commander” the other night which stars Russell Crowe (one of my favs for a number of reasons ).  For those of you who don’t know the movie’s premise, it’s set in 1805 during the gallant yet brutal Napoleonic wars. Crowe is a British Captain who commands a beautiful multi-masted vessel which is sets out on a mission to overtake a French enemy ship. He  pushes his boat and crew to points of almost disaster to achieve his quest.  It’s set in all it’s glory, epic like Gladiator… you can’t help but feel like you’re on the ship.

There were several gripping moments throughout the movie, but there was once scene that connected with me at a deeper level … and I thought… wow this is so relevant!!   I’ll explain…

Manuevering the Storm

The scene comes just after Crowe executes a brilliant naval maneuver and escapes a defensive chase from the French vessel by faking them out … and regains his position of power.   The crew is esctatic and thrilled to be back on the offense vs. the defense.  Then a terrible storm hits and the ship is rolling left and right.  All of a sudden survival is the goal.  Part of the crew are a number of young boys who are preparing for a life on the sea, it was very much part of the times and the expectation of making boys to men.  The storm came on so fast that they did not have time to take down the all the mast sails.  He send up one of the young boys who is popular on the ship to wrap up sails on the biggest mast.   He climbs up, and he’s hanging on for dear life as the ship tosses back and forth.  He looks frightened out of his mind, you can feel his fear.  He struggles while the boat is thrashing around, and yells down for help (and can barely be heard due to the storm), finally the Captain ordered another young boy to climb up and assist.  But just as the second young boy starts the treacherous climb, you hear a huge “CRACK” and then the mast breaks off with the boy attached and it falls into the turbulent sea.

Watching it you feel the horror, hopeful the boy will be saved.  The crew were all yelling to the boy to “swim!!” but you know he won’t make it through the huge wave swells.  The Captain is yelling to the boy, watching him struggle… he is visibly upset because he really liked this boy. But his officer is urging him to cut the ropes to the mast otherwise the whole ship will go down.  The mast is dragging down the whole ship, turning it on its side.  Stuff’s falling out, crew are clinging to what they can as the mast force pulls the weight of the ship down.   As awful as it was, the Captain realized that he needed to sacrifice the one life for the 100 on the ship.  And he grabs a sword and starts chopping at the ropes that is connected to the mast in the water, one by one.  Finally the mast is severed, and the ship rights itself back up.  You can see the boy in the distance sitting on the mast getting further and further away.  His fate was determined.

The Broken Mast

I felt a knot in my stomach watching this scene.  How horrible to make such a life or death decision.  Then something clicked in my mind.  Is there something in my that life represents this broken mast?  What is dragging me down and not letting me right up my ship? With that view of things, I began to relate on a different level.

With the economy being the way it is, I thought it was a good metaphor for the stormy sea.  It’s out of my direct control, and the only way to survive is to batten down the hatches, reduce expenses as much as possible and ride the storm out.  It will eventually pass. Storms always do.

Making tough decisions

It also put focus on the importance of making those tough decisions.  They aren’t easy and when we’re not looking at real life or death, we can postpone those decisions.  The reality is that we are hurting ourselves and others in not making them.  Some times we need to let go of situations, people, jobs, relationships, and so forth. Hanging on to things that are not helping and are dragging us down only perpetuates a situation that needs to be “righted up” like the ship.

We all have difficult decisions to make.  We all need to fill in the blanks for ourselves.  I filled in mine.

What does mast represent for you?

A  couple weeks back I read an article where Steve Forbes interviewed Warren Buffett and JayZ together.  It appeared to be an unlikely couple, aside from the fact that they are tremendously successful. Read the article here.  Curious about the combo pair, I discovered a few things.  First, that they had alot more in common than you would think.  More from a philosophy standpoint rather than worldly experiences, in fact, their worldly experiences were pretty different.

One of the things that struck me was something JayZ surmised from listening to Warren Buffet talk.  He said:

As I was listening to Warren, I could just hear all the similarities and all the things in what he’s saying, right? Because if you don’t look at the tickers, you’re really just searching for the truth within all the numbers and all the chaos. And that’s the key to being a recording artist. You’re telling your story or finding your truth at the moment..

Finding your truth at the moment…I pondered over that phrase for awhile that day, and off and on since I read it.  I think it’s so true in so much of what we do as people.  Everyone has their own truth and we may not always understand it from one another but we know it’s there.

But I find it’s true in the work I do as a marketer, and for any professional of that matter. Often times I”m looking to put together the right combination of words that ring truth to it, and I fuddle around over and over until I find just that right combination.  My friend who’s a computer tech wiz does this in his work, he  can fix anything, he’s amazing at what he does.   Lots of effort goes into finding that moment where it all the words (enter noun here) just click into place and it feels truthful.

The same goes for anything I’m doing, as I’m trying to live in each moment (ah hem…) the best I can.  My husband always used to tease me for being too truthful – not the hurtful kind but the honest kind.  After leaving the grocery store one day, I realized the girl gave me back my check when she handed me the receipt.  I went back in to give it to her, to this day my husband still talks about it.  Well, I figured it would catch up with me once they were counting the day’s tally, but that’s not why I returned it.

So, I’m trying to incorporate this into my life’s activities.  I’ll let you know how it goes, and if I have days where I’m spreading white lies like there’s no tomorrow.  They happen, not often, but the happen.  And that’s ok too.

Does that phrase resonate with you at all?

I caught myself today missing the big picture.  It’s been one of those days where I’m running from A to B, plugging up holes in the wall per say.  It’s been a picture of the week too, but I’m not really complaining. Busy is good, business is up.  There’s more stuff to do.

But, in my hustle of today, I had several packages to mail.  I had may day planned, do this, do this, do this, have lunch with an old friend, hit post office to get these packages MAILED dammit.  A couple have been sitting on my desk waiting for this moment!  I end up having a fabulous lunch, my mood was lifted feeling more positive, and as I was pulling off my exit to the highway I looked over at the pile next to me that was “next” on my list.  It was:

-  A package for a cousin in Iraq

- A book for a friend that I promised

- My taxes (with a  refund no less:-) )

- A charitable donation

Holy smokes…it hit me.  I should be enjoying this moment instead of rushing through it like everything else.  It was packages of goodness, for different people and things, but all goodness. All of a sudden, the world shifted into a new focus that felt immensly better than rush rush rush.  I’m just sayin.

I’m so glad I didn’t miss this moment.