Closer to the heart

I was driving down a side street the other night,  making my way on a trip to BJ’s to pick up ribs in preparation for my son’s birthday dinner.  I was feeling a little low, as it was 7:30 on the night before his birthday when I’m running around getting things at the last minute. Seems to be a regular thing for me.  Days run out of daylight, and I’m still not done.  So, I’m sitting in the car (with my son sitting in the passenger side) asking myself in my head “What’s really going on here, why do I feel so…unenthused with everything?” and at that moment, Rush came on the radio singing Closer to the Heart.  At first I was excited, I turned up the radio, told my son “I LOVE this song”, until I started singing it….

And the men who hold high places
Must be the ones who start
To mold a new reality
Closer to the heart
Closer to the heart
The blacksmith and the artist
Reflect it in their art
They forge their creativity
Closer to the heart
Closer to the heart

Ouch, that hurt. Tears bubbled up to my eyes, as I’m driving with one hand, wiping my face with the other catching the teardrops, hoping to be invisible…Closer to the heart I thought.  That was it.  That is what is missing.  My list of things and deadlines looming is not closer to the heart.  The things that are filling all of my days and nights are not things closer to the heart.  Writing here is closer to the heart.  Meditating is closer to the heart.  Watching tv with the family is closer to the heart.

I will start prioritizing my time around things closer to the heart first, then allow for the other things to fill in.  We’ll see if that shifts my energy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *