Swimming in change

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore. – Andre Gide

I’ve always liked this quote, and lately I’ve been feeling the essence of what this quote means in my life. Funny how that happens, you like a quote, then you find yourself living it…but I digress…

I’ve been working through some major life changes, and the closest analogy I can come up with is that it feels like I’m swimming in this huge ocean alone.  And swimming itself is tiring, it requires lots of energy and focus.  As I paddle from wave to wave, which I can compare to my emotions in dealing with this change, I sometimes need to just float along, look up and rest, and give myself a break.  At then at other times on this journey, I find myself turning around and looking back at the shore where I started out.  It looks safe… a place I can go back to.  But at the same time, I know I cannot.  The safety it offers is an illusion.  The reality is…there is no going back to my past, intellectually I know it will not serve me.   But it doesn’t stop the thoughts from forming when fear kicks in – maybe I could try this…maybe if I did that…gosh that shore looks easier to get to than going forward…and I’m feeling so tired.

Yet, my spirit calls me forward…to keep swimming along.  I know I will get to a point where I can see new land and new shores that will hold a future of my choosing.  This excites me and keeps me going.  Sure, there will be some storms along the way and I know I’ll have to float my way through it.   It’s par for the course.  The old sage saying is every journey begins with that first step.  The rest of the steps just seem to follow along.





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