Last week was a little rough. Usually I thoroughly enjoy my birthday week, but what I hadn’t realized is that I was well on my way to expressing my new found voice.
What does that mean? It means that I’m not candy coating answers anymore and just putting it out there. The problem is, I’m finding, is that no one expects it and are shocked. But its almost like I’m compulsed to say things, its a little rapid fire type thing.
I find it interesting. I still consider myself a laid-back, relaxed person. I like to be helpful and kind, its my predisposition. But all of a sudden, I’m finding myself putting people off, even in groups.
It started with…dare I say it…an email to a large group, a-hem. I should know by now that if I think what I’m writing may be strong then those receiving it may think it’s a wee bit stronger than I do. I ended up calling a few of the people who I respect on this team to apologize. But it started an interesting process of finding myself just blurting out thoughts that are truly how I feel.
So now that I’m talking turkey, I’m finding people don’t really want to know. So all that admiring of others who blurt, I didn’t realize that it can trigger a back end clean up process – either with oneself or with others. I found myself ruminating on these conversations, even though I know I should spend my energy elsewhere.
And even the closest people to me, who know I do scratch occasionally when backed into a corner, are even surprised.
So why is that the truth is so hard to hear?
I’m not giving up on my truth telling, because I’m all done absorbing any of the mushiness of not hurting another’s feelings in my solar plexus anymore. That wasn’t working, that much is clear. There must be a happy medium…
One thing that would help is I need to perfect my delivery – and help people feel good about what I’m saying, even if it isn’t the greatest thing. Few do it well, but if you know someone who does, it is an admirable trait.
How do people react when you tell it like it is? At what point do you stop caring about how others react? Or do you?