You can’t give what you don’t have

I recently finished reading a book by Joyce Meyer, and I appreciate her no-nonsense approach in making connections between God (Spirit, source, whatever you want to call it) and ourselves.  I received possession of this book when I started out on a business trip, so it was prime time to disconnect from my reality and delve into the words she shared.  In the very first chapter, she introduced a concept that I didn’t quite understand: “You can’t give what you don’t have“.

What am I not getting?

Intellectually, I get it but intuitively I wasn’t sure how this played out. Does she mean me? Other people? All of the above?  How does this apply?  Humbly, I  really didn’t get it. Then the other concept that goes hand in hand that Joyce explained is that most people don’t know how to receive.  Dammit, there it is again – being able to receive.  I have some things going on in my personal life that make me do a double take here.   Law of Attraction talks about it.  And I thought I got it when I learned about it then, but apparently some blockages still persist otherwise I wouldn’t be so confused.  What am I missing (I ask myself as I fly along to my destination)?

As I was going to sleep that night, I prayed for some guidance on what all this really means. And fortunately God delivered. I’ll explain.

Song in my head

The morning I woke up, I had a song in my head.  This happens often. This time it was a song by The Who “Love Reign O’er Me”.  The words..”LOVE…Rain on Me… On Me…On Me… (it’s the end of the song when Roger Daltry really screams it out) was pounding in my head.  Interesting, I thought.  Ironically it happened to rain like a M-F the night before.  It could be a coincidence, but I don’t believe in them.  But still it left me with questions – how do I allow love to “rain on me”?  It is a conscious effort?  Or something deeper at a subconscious level?  Ah, heck, I’ll just go with it. Stop thinking (I say in my head)!

Then it started to happen all on its own.  I start noticing that I’m making deeper connections with people, and I’m noticing a difference in their response.  I began to feel really energized and in general, loving.  Loving towards others.  It just flowed out of me.

Ah…I think. Perhaps I was not able to offer this before because I technically didn’t “HAVE” it to offer.  But for some reason now, I do (I did ask for it??).  It felt like I was plugged into this powerful electrical current and it just flowed out.

Pure Love?

As I was going home, I wondered…is this love the pure love of God? Is this what I’ve resisted?  Or is this something else? And where do you get it? It manifested between people vs. something I could accomplish alone.  So, was God there through all of this directing it through me? Hmm, I wonder.

In general, I am the type of person to hold myself to a pretty high standard.  I don’t let myself off the hook.  I tend to replay things in my mind, wondering what I could have said better, done better, delivered better, etc.  What if receiving this kind of love is just really just an extension of forgiveness, and allowing myself to be open to receive?  Is it that easy?  I do tend to block my own self-forgiveness until I feel I’ve beat myself enough. Why do that when this is ready to be offered and just received?

Going beyond myself

Going beyond myself I started noticing others around me who are not receiving too.  It’s almost epidemic.  I’m fortunate to have a loving family, but each person I know has blockages around what they are willing to receive.  I started to notice that we put up walls to receive others love because we are busy judging them for what they have done/haven’t done.  “So and so didn’t do this, and that really bothers me.”  So, next time they saw So and So…they would hold that issue in between them, like opposing magnets.  While it’s not overt or obvious, an energetic block occurs.  So no matter how the other person felt, they could not share their love with that person holding the block, neither could that person receive it.

Let’s face it.  There are times when we desire to receive a certain type of response from someone else.  It could be forgiveness, mercy, hope, love.  You might find yourself thinking in your head..”Well they’ll just HAVE to understand.”  But what if they, historically in their life, have not been a recipient of compassion or understanding?  Are they really able to offer it to you? And if they do not, how do you react to that?  Is it your failing or theirs?

It’s really not about you after all

I hold the belief that how people react to me is 99% of the time based on issues they have vs. anything I’m doing.  But I also find that it’s hard to remember when I’m feeling hurt, rejected, and not receiving what I had hoped in return.  Well, perhaps it’s as simple as they can’t give what they themselves don’t have.  It’s really not about me after all.

So, then, who are we to judge? Ourselves or others? We’re all human trying to live our lives and be good people (for the most part).   Perhaps we should just try to learn how to love others around us and ignore that judgement voice inside.  Then perhaps we can offer something someone else needs, vs. what we need from them.  Pure love of God.  That’s all.

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  1. says

    I 100% get what you’re coming from on this. I really am a believer that you get what you put out there. I know I can be really closed off – and then wonder why others don’t open up to me. It’s a challenge day to day – but I have to remember it’s possible to invoke change at any and every step of the way. The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude. Once we open up and give more of ourselves, we allow ourselves to receive in return. Great post, thanks.

  2. Juliann says

    Thanks Nikki. I appreciate the read. It is funny, you do get what you put out there. But at the same time, even if we think we’re being open, we may not be. At least that’s what I discovered… I believe in giving we receive…especially when we help others. We tap into something more powerful than we can comprehend…

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